Friday, December 30, 2011

Impossible to cancel #Comcast in #Santa #Fe


While at dinner with a friend, Aaron, I told him about the conspiracy to prevent the Internet from reaching my home.  Aaron, a founder and board member of the local public radio station, said he had a good experience allowing the phone company to handle the phone, and install Internet and the TV reception.  All he needed to do was add that QWest would also balance my checkbook, take out the garbage and erase mold from toilets to make what he was saying beyond too good to be true.
The next morning I called Qwest and give them the entire job.  This required a long and complicated conversation with a friendly woman, who began by adding services to my phone line, even though I was happy with what I had. 
Then I had to stop the Comcast trenchers from going to 6 Estambre Road, Place, Court, Ditch, Trench, Trough, Alley or any other variation. 
I called Comcast and heard the following message seven times: “For English press one.  Thank you for the delay while we process your call.   Thank you for calling Comcast.   Our walk-in lobby hours are… thank you for taking time to listen to this message… thank you for being nice to us before it was necessary… thank you for being you… thank you for sending the money…”
After I pushed Number 2 to downgrade or cancel service, I heard another “Thank you” and then NOTHING.   No lush violin music that says that the telephone company really doesn’t want to answer your questions about why your bill doubled from last month to now.  No sitar or tabla tunes indicating that I had been transferred to India.  Nothing.
Remember: I was attempting to speak to the highly technical cable television company that proposed to be responsible for bringing me the miracle of dozens of channels for entertainment, shopping, religion and celebrity poker.   It is this cable company that is no phone service!  Does this suggest overwhelming competence?  
While in the Land of No Sounds, I punched in Marianne’s extension.  Nothing.  
Tried zero for operator.  Nothing! 
Then I alternated, Marianne’s extension and zero dozens of times and got nothing.  Not a sound, not a raspy moment of heavy breathing, not even a suggestion to go to their Internet site (which I couldn’t do until I had access to the Internet). 
Sometime between my 4th and 7th call, I became resigned to the fact that was impossible to cancel Comcast or to communicate with any human being who worked for that company.   Perhaps, from this time forward, any appointment made with Comcast could never be unmade.
The next day, while we were at lunch in central Santa Fe, a man called my cell phone and said that Comcast was at my home, ready to dig that trench and install the Internet and television. 
Although I wanted to ask exactly where they were, I said no thanks, please do not trench.  I explained that I couldn’t get through to Comcast or the supervisor the day before.  Expressing no emotion whatsoever, the man thanked me and ended the conversation.  So the relationship with Comcast ends not with a trench but with a polite non-whimper.  Now, will QWest show up as promised tomorrow?

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