The newspaper did print a picture of a middle-aged
bike rider in saggy Speedos with “FUEL FREE FOOL” printed on his chest. However, much more space was given to the
rodeo parade. The prize for horsemanship
in the parade went to Christie Garcia on Hi Ho Silver.
Which brings us back to the newspaper
editorial four months after the event.
The headline “Indecency session
bares watching…” certainly caught my attention. It was the only editorial on that page,
meaning that the world was doing fairly well at the time; there were no
pressing issues on which to opine about (like Santa Fe’s on-going efforts to
wrest the title of drunk driving capital from Gallup).
The editorial revealed that the Santa Fe arts
and progressive communities plan to be at the City Council meeting to defend
the right to exposure.
The current law, according to the New Mexican,
specifically prohibits the exposure of the “primary genital area to public
view,” including “the mons pubis, penis, testicles, mons veneris, vulva, or
vagina.” The reader was referred to his
or her Funk & Wagnall’s for complete definitions.
The mayor wanted to go further and, among
other things, ban the display of “buttocks with less than a fully opaque
covering.”
The answer to that was a clarion call from
emailing libertarians for “liberty-loving Santa Feans” to attend while wearing
“your finest butt-baring bathing suit or other outfit that shows off some part
of your bare and beautiful derriere!”
Well, if that didn’t bring out a crowd of
either participants, watchers or buttocks’ protestors, I don’t know what
will.
Those opposed to the strengthened ordinance
were saying that the new ordinance might, gasp, outlaw Speedos, breast-feeding
and changing diapers. The effect on our
society of the disappearance of any or all of those events from the public
arenas would, I assume, mean the end of our civilization as we know it. Forget about what Iran might do if it had a
nuclear bomb and consider the effect of a tight Speedo or a breast-feeding
mother on local morality.
The editorial solemnly intoned, while adding
considerably to the guffawing surrounding the issue, that “for the immediate
future (the mayor and whomever votes for the new ordinance) is likely to come
off tonight, and for the foreseeable future, as a laughingstock in many parts
of this City Different.”
Well, yes, they were laughingstocks at least while I
was reading the paper and drinking my cup of coffee that morning.
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